Have Sex Outside Marriage at Your Peril

The fence of Christian marriage was put there for a reason

We hear it so much it gets boring, let alone the fact that today it’s a way out-of-date mode of thinking. But is sex before marriage wrong? Well, if perhaps you were hoping for some smooth words as The Bible puts it, or at least no mention of sex outside marriage in today’s liberal church where anything goes, I’m afraid you should stop reading. But if you have a bit of backbone and you want to do what’s right – in God’s eyes and almost as important in your own life – to hang on to your sanity and have a good life here on earth – read on. After all, God says and does things for a reason and He’s always right – right?

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For several years I struggled with this one – I mean we all instinctively know it’s wrong to be having sex with more than one person because more than anything it feels wrong in terms of having to be ‘faithful’ to more than one person when you are giving yourself completely to two – or in some cases three or for different partners. But there are other more serious reasons why you shouldn’t indulge in fornication? Yes; it causes one’s heart to harden every time you do it and this makes your eternal life a fire risk!

Looking for loopholes?

We all do it – I still do it like a fool! But I’ll warn you now; look for loopholes in The Bible if you want, but you won’t find them – and if you do – it will be of your own making – you can make the Bible mean anything you want it to – if you want – but we must love plain, unvarnished truth if we want to be saved. I didn’t say THE truth as we all only see in part or we may not even know the truth – but The Bible says we must love truth full stop – even if we don’t yet know it, it is what we should seek if we are honestly in love with God and ask Him for it and His Holy Spirit will reveal it (“we need no man to teach us” The Bible says and – “The Holy Spirit will teach you all things” – incredibly exciting statements I’m sure you will agree!).

If we don’t seek the real treasure – the truth that God says He has obscured from those that don’t seek it out diligently, and rightly so, He promises in His word to send ‘strong delusion’. So ignore or worse twist scripture at your peril! A straight reading of the text makes it absolutely clear sex outside marriage is not right – and only not right because it is not good for you – not because God is a kill-joy! If you need proof – just look what having multiple wives (never God’s prescription for marriage) did to Solomon – it near ruined a great, great man, making him double, triple, quadruple minded, confused and miserable!

Sex outside the fireplace can burn your house down

Now the problem is that men have a memory like a role of photo film. Every person they sleep with they can remember in detail – all that happened. Now before the men start thinking this is only a problem for the women they date (which it is) – wait one minute! YOU are going to come off worst here. The more people you sleep with without full commitment (1 marriage to 1 woman) – the more problems and psychological issues you are storing up for yourself. And these are not small – they may cause the breakdown of your marriage – the breakdown of your career, faith, life and children and family!

And of course this will affect your ability to minister to others will a clean conscience in church – our primary reason to be there! (yes I know these days church is a social club with a concert at beginning and end, but it wasn’t like that in Jesus’ day – we are meant to be there for others first, to serve our Christian brothers and sisters – ourselves second just like Jesus modelled for us).

Now let’s get to the serious stuff. God says in The Bible – Jesus Christ’s own words – that fornicators will NOT inherit the kingdom of God. What does this mean? Ermm… that fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God! OK – I know what you’re really asking; “what if I fornicated? Then there’s no hop?!” Yes there is a lot of hope as God will forgive all the sins you willingly repent of. But take note; a fornicator is someone who repents but has no intention of stopping – in other words real repentance DOES mean stopping doing something bad! Something quite alien in today’s ‘works is bad’ mentality church.

In any case – since when has NOT doing something been a ‘work’? “We will not be saved by good works” refers to just that – if you think you will be saved by going round doing ‘good’ things (probably with a hidden motive) you are wrong – but we are commanded to do good – so that other might see and be saved, and we are commanded to stop sinning – regardless of being saved or not! We are saved by grace through faith – but remember all the other things Jesus said about inheriting the kingdom – don’t leave those out – he said them.

“If you love me you’d let me”

Right – and pigs fly! Girls never fall for this; “if you love me you’d let me.” Utter nonsense – love is to nurture and provide – not demand something forbidden by God from one of His children! Don’t fall for it if a young man uses this card – run as far as you can in the opposite direction. Hopefully before you do you can quote him the above! Why do we have a picture of a bloke?… because it’s what blokes say more often than girls who have more sense! If you really want to know why it’s a bad thing to ask, see our article; the real meaning of love.

Already had sex outside marriage?

OK, don’t panic – many many many people have and will. It’s happened since the dawn of time and there is hope – just so long as you are willing to recognise it as wrong, repent and start trying to walk down the narrow path! And remember as you do, no sex before marriage is not all doom and gloom – the blessing at the end of the narrow path infinitely outweigh a few might of passion with someone you know in your heart you don’t really feel is the right person! Happy you, happy wife, happy kids, happy heart, happy families, happy God – and a heart that has not been hardened by life so much that it is in danger of only being good for firewood.

The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom

So yes – absolutely, sex outside the fireplace will burn your house down – perhaps not right away – but sometime – somehow – somewhere it will come back to bite – so we urge you, don’t do it single Christians! Once you begin to break these massively important commands, it’s only a matter of time before God will need to destroy you (if you don’t stop) before it infects others and His creation. Hard words I know – but I am not pulling any punches as I see what our enemy is doing all around to our young people (and everyone in fact).

God created the fence of marriage for a very good reason! To keep you, your faith, body, mind and spirit alive and strong, and more importantly to keep you alive eternally!